Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Why is rap* a crime?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Are you happy with your life?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Why are black people seen as scary or a threat to some people?

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

What should I do if I love a girl and she apparently doesn't love me?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Why is every human messed up in some way?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Why does my penis look like a mushroom when it gets big?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

He said he loves me, but why is it difficult for him to leave his wife?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

What is the irony of life according to you?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Why do only ugly women like me on Tinder? Is it because I'm an ugly man?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Do you have any attributes quirks sensitivities abilities etc that you've come to learn most people don't experience? E.g. dream with subtext or experience de ja vu regularly or know you experience life very differently from those around you etc?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I can read

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I actually pay taxes

I can count

I have complete contempt for fakery

I have a reading level above third grade

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I see through liars

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones